NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS TO BREAK WHAT’S LEFT OF OUR HEARTS

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I’m a slithering contradiction, a blithering conundrum,

a temperate gun-toting member of the grammer police

who bathes in jägermeister. I have a wooden eye and a

glass leg looking for same. I’m a member of the John B

irch Society and a Communist because I was born under

the sign of Gemini. Save the threesome jokes- I’ve heard

them all and even penned a few…you have a pretty mouth

and significant lung capacity and can poach an egg or pelt

or tusk should we feel randy. You keep waiting for me to be

myself and I keep trying to do the same for you. PS… I don’t

date outside the human race, no offense, just my preference.

Sent from my Sprint phone

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