If Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life Then What Was Yesterday? 

What’s all the hubbub, Bub, 
About shaving a dog’s ass 
And teaching it to walk backwards? 
See, that’s the problem with kids today… 

Their sense of entitlement astounds 
My hardscrabble constituency, 
I mean, who doesn’t have to work 
With the business end every now and again? 

Hell, even I have been elbow-deep 
On a few occasions and while it did effect 
My golf game it wasn’t anything a few 
All-inclusives didn’t remedy. 

I am a humble work in progress, 
Supping with my Lord on a bounty 
Of meat & potatoes but tired, so tired, 
Of chasing the neighborhood hounds. 

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